Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
