Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Randomize
