MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
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