can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
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