3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
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