who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize
