Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
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