We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
There's always time for handjobs
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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