if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize
