party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
Randomize
