Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
honey bunches of taint.
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
Randomize
