Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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