I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
I am one with the molecules
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Randomize