chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
