I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Randomize
