Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
