just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
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