Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
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