Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize
