This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
Randomize
