yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
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