also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
Randomize
