he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
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