I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
