No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
Operation Purity has been aborted
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Randomize
