Pappa wants mamma naked
I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
Couch. On fire.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
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