Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
My dick has a subreddit
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
