so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
Randomize
