Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
Randomize
