I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
