do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
And then he peed in my hair
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize