Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize
