I can tuck mytits in my pants
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
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