If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
Randomize
