i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
I enjoy the company of your penis
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
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