think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Randomize
