Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
Of course I have a pirate flag
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
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