My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
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