you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
if i get the "i'm engaged" text one more time, i'm going to shoot myself in the face so my cats won't eat it when i die alone.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
Randomize
