Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
Randomize
