My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
