After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Randomize
