the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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