Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
She's not a foreskin expert like you
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
Randomize
