He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
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