My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
