Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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