It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
