it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
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