Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
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