Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Randomize
