What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
you made out with another girl for some wings
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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