I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Randomize
