there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
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