It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
Randomize
