he referred to my room as the tit cave...
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
