I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
Randomize
