I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
Randomize
