I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
Randomize
