If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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