I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
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