Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
The feeling are messing with the penis
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
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