WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
Randomize
