I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
Slut skills are useful in every country.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
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